( ah. jason remembers that, too. he'd been pissed at himself, enough to encourage markus to take it out on him. felt a little better, too: getting fists slammed into his face, encouraging markus to keep it up before they went their separate ways. bitched him out until he got a name from those lips. )

I was idealistic, at one point. ( a slight correction. he could get up and leave now, markus has patched him up enough. the dried bits don't matter much to him at all, but--jason's letting markus continue. breathes in deep. )

But I started from the bottom, Markus. You, you've got a light behind your eyes, ( like dick does. that goes without saying. ) you had shit and lost it. I started with nothing, got more nothing, then was handed fucking everything on a silver platter--only to lose it all again. Believing in crap is stupid, trying is fucking stupid, you're never gonna be able to fix everything. Hell, fixing one tiny goddamn thing is hard as hell.

( recent conversations have. brought up some shit, now markus has to deal with it. )

But we try anyway, right?