It does. I got it through different means, though. [Yet another case where Clarke has to conceal the whole story. For as much as she's told Markus about her life before, the fine details slip through the cracks. What if she had told him that? Told any of them that? What would they think?
She can just recall Connor's approach to Jason, and how much she's aware that she may be the most dangerous of them all. If pushed, Clarke knows the full extent of what she's capable of on any given day.]
We tested a solution involving it. I say "we," as if I had any involvement in it. We eventually realized that bone marrow was the key. [It always is in her world.] Anyway, we needed a live subject. I needed a live subject.
[Clarke is good at that, introducing general ideas or wide tracts of information where the details might not shine through. Where they become lost in the general weave of the tapestry itself, and Markus is pulled along with the narrative at the pace in which she dictates.
But it doesn’t always quell his curiosity. The occasional question that seeks out those same particulars rise to the surface, and he has no reason to not ask them.]
And what happened?
[A “live subject”, a phrase that never really implies anything pleasant.]
Is this solution the reason why your blood changed, or something else?
[Point of clarification. Slow down. Clear it up. She nods, realizing that she has to do it so that he understands.]
We called it the Nightblood solution. There was only one known one left in the world, so we worked with her to figure out the best means to make the serum. It was clear that we needed a zero gravity environment to do it, so we had to try other resorts. The Nightblood would allow us to survive the radiation outside, though once I injected myself, my mom wouldn't ... she didn't accept my choice, and she destroyed our testing equipment.
[Clarke wouldn't have survived that particular scenario, however. It needed to be radiation over a longer period of time.]
I did what I needed to for my people. [A thing she believes Markus may understand too well.]
No. I don't blame her. [Just like she couldn't blame Bellamy for nearly forcing her to shoot him when it turned into whether Clarke's decision to steal the bunker was fair or not, especially when his sister was left outside. She knew what would come of that decision, and was prepared to force it on him. No matter what.
Markus doesn't know that her mother watched someone melt from radiation not long before. From a different version of the test. Clarke will conceal that for now.]
I just wish I'd been able to show them that it was a solution. [As she's still alive, not trapped in a place with little escape. As that outcome would mean she'd know her people.]
[The question hangs for a moment, before he exhales a little, borrowing her regret.]
We’re similar in a lot of ways. I always regret making others worry, or taking risks for the greater good, to protect others; but I know myself well enough to that I’d always make the same decision, again and again.
[Connor calls it stubbornness. Maybe it is — maybe it’s an indelible trait for people like themselves.]
Yes. [Clarke doesn't have to think twice. Even with Mount Weather—Clarke wishes she could see another way, but the timing, the corner she'd been forced in to ... all of it left her without answers.
The problem to her is that Markus doesn't see the extent of what she's done. Yes, there was that day in the park when he'd been different. That ruthless side of him hasn't had to come to light. And yet.
It could.
She just hopes it never has to.]
I hope you're never in my shoes. I say yes, but there's always a part of me that hesitates. That knows that there may be places where I shouldn't say that. [But her people will always come first.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She can just recall Connor's approach to Jason, and how much she's aware that she may be the most dangerous of them all. If pushed, Clarke knows the full extent of what she's capable of on any given day.]
We tested a solution involving it. I say "we," as if I had any involvement in it. We eventually realized that bone marrow was the key. [It always is in her world.] Anyway, we needed a live subject. I needed a live subject.
no subject
But it doesn’t always quell his curiosity. The occasional question that seeks out those same particulars rise to the surface, and he has no reason to not ask them.]
And what happened?
[A “live subject”, a phrase that never really implies anything pleasant.]
Is this solution the reason why your blood changed, or something else?
no subject
We called it the Nightblood solution. There was only one known one left in the world, so we worked with her to figure out the best means to make the serum. It was clear that we needed a zero gravity environment to do it, so we had to try other resorts. The Nightblood would allow us to survive the radiation outside, though once I injected myself, my mom wouldn't ... she didn't accept my choice, and she destroyed our testing equipment.
[Clarke wouldn't have survived that particular scenario, however. It needed to be radiation over a longer period of time.]
I did what I needed to for my people. [A thing she believes Markus may understand too well.]
no subject
Yes, Markus would understand that quite well.]
I would’ve done the same. But it’s hard to blame others that… care for you to not see it that way.
[Markus can see both sides, even if he stands defiantly on one.]
no subject
Markus doesn't know that her mother watched someone melt from radiation not long before. From a different version of the test. Clarke will conceal that for now.]
I just wish I'd been able to show them that it was a solution. [As she's still alive, not trapped in a place with little escape. As that outcome would mean she'd know her people.]
no subject
[The question hangs for a moment, before he exhales a little, borrowing her regret.]
We’re similar in a lot of ways. I always regret making others worry, or taking risks for the greater good, to protect others; but I know myself well enough to that I’d always make the same decision, again and again.
[Connor calls it stubbornness. Maybe it is — maybe it’s an indelible trait for people like themselves.]
You would too, wouldn’t you?
no subject
The problem to her is that Markus doesn't see the extent of what she's done. Yes, there was that day in the park when he'd been different. That ruthless side of him hasn't had to come to light. And yet.
It could.
She just hopes it never has to.]
I hope you're never in my shoes. I say yes, but there's always a part of me that hesitates. That knows that there may be places where I shouldn't say that. [But her people will always come first.]